I study the Tao as a regular practice and shared with a fellow pilgrim that one of my favorite books is ‘Change your thoughts - change your life: Living the wisdom of the Tao’ by Wayne Dyer.
He asked what I took most from it, and my response was to do less, allow more. This has been one of the greatest gifts of the Camino. You aren’t doing much, just walking, eating and sleeping. When you are in this routine I’ve found that the mind can release from its typical overworking mode and it opens the door for creativity and messages to come through. I’ve had this happen a lot on my Camino, much of which has come through in my writing.
A symbolic moment and message happened for me last night and today, my final full day on the Camino. Yesterday was the one year mark to the time when my mom fell down the stairs to her death and I was stuck in a replay of her final moments. I was thinking of what she must have been doing, what she was thinking about and even what she was wearing. I imagine she had the music on full blast and was dressed in a way a normal person would for a nice dinner, but for her it was her everyday fashion even if she planned to not run into anyone else that day. We know that she was taking care of her plants because she had a spoonful of dirt next to her when she was found. It brings me comfort to think of her doing her normal day things. For people that have experienced the traumatic death of a loved one it is very common to play out the imagined scene over and over, as a way of processing that it really happened. I still find myself doing this, as disturbing as it is, because it is the only way for my brain to grapple with the reality that my mom has died. When I woke up in the morning I realized that one of my diamond earrings was gone. The earrings were a high school graduation gift from my parents and I have worn them every single day for 18 years. I shook out the sheets and searched every nook and cranny of my room, but no earring. It felt very weird to have a naked earlobe, and I was obsessing about this during my first hour on the trail, when I got a message, while simultaneously a double rainbow appeared. The message was to do less, and allow more. Don’t waste any more energy on trying to understand how the earring went missing, allow bigger and better things to come into your life. This happened on this night for a reason, you’re upgrading your life.